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Barstool Ski Racing Is the Art of Not Spiffing It
Label: TechnologyBarstool racing is, as the name suggests, people racing on barstools. Or milk cans, picnic tables and, a few years ago, a stripper pole. It's pretty much the definition of a weird sport.
There are different classes for barstool ski racing, including one for steerable skis and one for non-steerable.
The course starts atop "Sugar Hill," named so because of the brothel that used to be atop Central Avenue that attracted the local "Canyon Critters" back in the dam days.
In the "anything goes" open division, anything mounted on a ski or skis is eligible. That includes boats and floats.
The rules strictly state you "must ride the stool sitting down, drinking position, butt on top of the stool."
Like all the best weird sports, drinking is not only condoned, but encouraged.
The whole point of barstool ski racing is to make it to the bottom of Sugar Hill in one piece, as these fellows did after a close race. "This is the most fun we have all winter," said bartender Leslie Fuller.
MARTIN CITY, Montana – Barstool ski racing is, essentially, a competition to see who can go the farthest without spiffing it.
“Spiffing it” is, of course, the technical term for tumbling head over heels from your barstool, something far more likely to happen if you’ve knocked a few back beforehand.
This insightful analysis of a wonderfully weird sport came from Dee Hovila, the cabbie who drove me into town one day last week. She also told me that if I saw a guy who looked like Johnny Depp, it probably was Johnny Depp.
Depp has a vacation home up the road in Whitefish. He may, or may not, have been grand marshal of a parade there recently. Rumor has it that it was his double waving to the crowd. Whatever the case, Depp, and his double, did not make it to the 35th annual Barstool Ski Races.
Their loss.
This town of about 400 people near Glacier National Park has long hosted a sport said to have started 35 years ago at a bar at the Belton Chalet in nearby West Glacier. It started, as the best sports always do, with prodigious quantities of alcohol.
“A couple of skiers came in and tried to talk these old-timers into going out skiing,” said Stacey Schnebel, a local bar owner and volunteer organizer for Cabin Fever Days. “They said, ‘The day you put skis on this barstool is the day I’ll go skiing with you.’”
Challenge accepted, it wasn’t long before the old-timers were sliding down a hill behind the chalet. What started with eight sleds has evolved into a weekend-long competition that draws a few dozen entries. People slip and slide down the hill on barstools, in boats and even atop a stage featuring a live band — playing “Wipeout,” of course.
Stools are relegated to one of two divisions — those you can steer and those you cannot. Everything else goes into the “anything goes” division where, a couple of years ago, a woman in her 40s rode a stripper pole down the hill. That seems fitting, given that contestants race two at a time down “Sugar Hill,” so named because there once was a brothel atop Central Avenue where, the story goes, folks went to get some sugar.
It’s all in fun, which is key, because no one watches barstool racing for the racing.
“It’s kind of like NASCAR,” said barstool racer Brandon Kelvin. “You watch it for the wrecks.”
And the beer. So much beer.
“I promise I’ve only had one beer today,” emcee Kilee Stevens said. “And I’ve had so much fun.”
“It’s more than fun. It’s awesome,” said bartender Leslie Fuller. “This is the most fun we have all winter.”
Photos: Sol Neelman/Wired
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